A Drunkard's Ballad
by Lack of Tact
Summary: You know that one possibly regrettable decision you make while blackout drunk? You see, there's a recurring problem here; meet Weyland Lemming. A pessimist, a narcissist, and an alcoholic. Not typically a good combination, especially in the situation he's recently found himself in. Aboard a boat with no point of return, he — regretfully — sets off to the New World. Rated T - M
1. Chapter 1

**A Drunkard's Ballad**

 **Prologue (1/3): Good Morning, Sunshine**

* * *

 _"Hey, yo-you alright there buddy? You look a little wasted."_

 _"N'nah, I-I'm goo-I'm fine. Lemme... lemme through."_

 _"Pal, you're a little more than inebriated. I can't let you into the send-off meeting like this-"_

 _"Fffuck you. I can-I can go where I wanna and yer not gonn' stop me."_

 _"Why I_ _—_ _grr... whatever, it's your funeral. Asshole."_

 _"An' a prou-proud one too..."_

 _"W-what?"_

 _"Sisters and brothers of the Fifth Fleet, it's time. I'll keep my farewell brief_ _—never was much with words._ _"_

 _"Once you board this ship, there is no turning back..."_

 **. . . . .**

 _Oh for fuck's sake, my head..._ My hand finds itself planted firmly against the side of my pounding skull; the light peering through a window just above me not helping in any way. Clenching my eyes shut, I force back the bile that tastes similar to last night's drink of choice. Just how much did I have really? And just where am I exactly? My body sways on its own on the little cot, putting my mind to ease. I try and drift away from these headache-inducing thoughts and off into a hungover sleep.

That lasts all of two seconds, at least.

 _Why the fuck am I teetering?_ I ask mentally, noticing the slight sway of the hammock I certainly don't own. _This isn't my room... this isn't even my home! Wha-_ a harsh rocking from something hitting _whatever_ I'm in forces me from my thoughts. Okay, okay, let me piece this situation together. I know for a damned _fact_ I went out drinking last night, the taste in the back of my mouth proves it. I'm not in my own bed, this strung together piece-o-shit certainly isn't the double I commandeer back at home. The constant undulation means whatever I'm in is moving...

My pounding headache doesn't allow me to come to a conclusion. I groan out simply, planting my feet firmly — _as firmly as I can_ — against the floorboard. With a lackluster push, I stand and begin to take in my surroundings through squinting eyes. Hammocks, cots, various makeshift beds fill the entirety of the room I woke up in. Bags belonging to strangers; several others sleeping soundly. Where was I that had all of these people and things cramped up together like this? I take an inquisitive step forward and regret the action almost immediately.

I fall back onto the hammock and am nearly thrown _from_ it. Okay, so I'm not sobered up enough to move properly, let's give it a few more minutes. At least with this time, I can try and make out what situation I seemed to have put myself into. Again. "Ugh," I mumble, bringing a hand to wipe away the crumbs gathered beneath my eyes. _Alright, lemme sort this out..._ _Obviously, I'm not home... must be on a ship or somethin'?_ I rub a temple roughly with a sniffle, glancing over the sleeping strangers. _But why would I be on a ship?_ My question goes unanswered as another rough patch of _whatever_ hits the outside of the vessel.

I almost vomit.

 _Oh burning Sapphire..._ Part of me regrets even drinking last night, the other half doesn't reckon he cares. With a slow shake of my head to clear the sudden dizzy-spell cast upon me, I let out a low breath. "We ain't in Tanzia anymore." I murmur to myself; a hand clasping on my shoulder from behind nearly causes me to whip around.

"Haha! No, we are _not,_ a good thing too! Had half a thousand debts I wasn't able to settle." I turn to face the sudden head-splitting voice and glare up at the stranger. A man, roughly early twenties with bright orange hair is looking down at me with a grin. His head was shaven bar his bangs and he was clad in metal armor. For whatever reason. "I kid, I kid. But nah, it's great! The smell of the sea, the new horizon we're coming up on, the adventure. I can't wait!" _What are you going on about, kid?_ I want to ask, but his voice is thundering inside my skull.

I want to slap him, get him to shut up, but I let him be. "Yeah, s'great. Look, did we leave the docks yet? I gotta get home; the missus is gonna miss me. If you catch my drift." An awkward blink from him as he looks down at me, along with a sheepish grin, earns a sigh. "I shouldn't be here — wherever _here_ is — seriously." I get up again, ignoring the wobble in my step, and rip his hand from my shoulder.

"Hey-hey, man. Chill a little, yeah? We only left port a day ago," _I slept for a day!?_ "I'm sure we can talk to the captain, get him to detour. You'll be back with your wife in no time!" I glance at him, brown eyes stare back with mirth. I glare, he stops. Putting his hands up in defense, he continues speaking. "Okay, okay. Sorry, but we can't go back. Guild Commander Haedrig said this was a one-way ticket, and looks to me pal, your ticket was punched in too." Alright, I can get that. One-way ship; surely I can get passage back that means.

 _But where are we going, exactly?_ "First off, it was a figure of speech. I ain't married — now, to the _bottle,_ maybe, but not actually married." I point upwards with my index finger as I begin to count off, he nods along with me. "Secondly, where is this ship going and how long is it 'till we're there?"I raise my middle finger, making a quick 'V', before pulling my hand back down. My brows furrow as I stare at him and he chuckles.

"To the New World, obviously! You were there, at the meeting. Of course, you looked just as sick as you do now, but hey! You should remember _that_ at least, right?" He crosses his metal-laden forelimbs over his chest as he grins at me. I fight the urge to pinch the bridge of my nose, instead opting to sigh ruggedly.

He continues to stare at me, awaiting a response, and I shake my head. "Kid, if I remembered anything of last night, you think I'd even be here?" _And where is this 'New World'? I don't remember hearing anything of the sort back home... I'm not a Hunter, I don't work for that Guild._ "Might want to specify a little on 'New World'. Where is that and why are we going there?" His mouth opens in a little 'o' before nodding once at me.

"Easy! We're heading to Astera! Or, at least that's what the reports say the place is called..." His voice trails off as he takes on a contemplative look for all of a few seconds. He gives a wave of his hand and I take a step back, "anyway, anyway. I take it you don't even know what the Commission is?" I don't respond. "No dice? Yeah, okay. Give me a second." He steps over the hammock between us and puts his hand on my shoulder — again — before leading me to a wooden door. "You're probably gonna wanna sit down for this one, it's a bit of a doozy to explain."

Walking through the door, his free hand absentmindedly pushing it open as he stares forward with a grim look, I roll my eyes. _A bit of a doozy? I'm sure waking up not at home is more-so._ I lick my drying lips and step down the small staircase on the other side, my eyes take in the entirety of my new surroundings; both Felynes and people alike congregate around tables, the all familiar scents of eats and alcohol invade my nose. This must be the dining area, it's certainly more filled than the place I was previously. I glance over my shoulder at the strange man before looking for a spot to sit. Only three spots are left unclaimed, _how lucky,_ I muse before moving over to an empty chair.

My newfound partner strays from me and sits at the other end of the chosen table. His hand motions towards a black and white Felyne for a beverage. I can't help but feel like I need another drink _despite_ my current situation being an effect by said poison. Curiously, I notice how he looks around, almost as if he is looking for someone else. Maybe he feels as if they would be able to explain this plight any better? Whatever the case may be, he sighs and stares with a dejected grin. "Ah, well. It's up to me, I guess."

I simply nod.

"Well, you see, The Commission was formed by the Hunter's Guild; you know who _they_ are, right?" Nodding again, he continues, "good. That cuts this explanation down to half, at least." He chuckles, scratching the back of his head as the Felyne he called for earlier brings a set of large goblets. Both are filled to the brim with foaming alcohol. My nose twitches at the scent and I gladly take the handle of one, bringing it to my lips. The bitter and biting taste earns a sigh of content. "Well, as far as we all know, excluding you apparently, The Commission is a research program of sorts. We're setting out to investigate — no, sorry. I got that wrong, give me another second." He purses his lips briefly, bringing his own mug of ale to his mouth in contemplation.

"The _other_ fleets were sent out to investigate the New World. We're the Fifth Fleet, the muscle as it were. Heck, most if not all of us are Hunters! I'm an A-Lister myself, one of the first to sign up for this expedition. And so is my partner... if I can find her, that is." He chuckles, looking around the large room once again before letting loose a disgruntled sigh. "Sorry, getting distracted. Ah, where was I? Right, since I'm assuming you're not exactly here voluntarily, you're not a Hunter at all, are you?"

Chewing the inside of my cheek gently, I shrug in response. "Eh, no. Heard of some of you guys — obviously, who hasn't, right — and various excursions. All that grandeur, not a big fan honestly. I prefer my tales in the tavern, thank you very much."

"Tales in the tavern, eh? You can hold your drink?"

"If I could hold my drink, would I be here asking you these questions?"

"Right, sorry." We both stare at each other before I chuckle and he laughs. "Anyway, the Fifth Fleet's job is mainly to figure out what the Elder Crossing means and why Elder Dragons do it. We haven't heard much of anything about the subject for the last _ten_ years, so the Guild thought it was high time to send us out-" he pauses to take another drink, I take this time to as well, "-to be honest, I'm glad! I was itching to explore this new land; I'm sure everyone is!"

I give a deadpan stare and he chuckles loudly, nodding his head. "Minus you, minus you. Sorry, I keep getting ahead of myself. Point is, that's where we're going and _why._ If you want to know any more, talk to your part... _ner..."_ He comes to a dry stop and his eyes widen a little. I tilt my head and raise a brow at his abrupt pause. "Ah... I forget. You're not an official Hunter, you don't have an official Handler... hm." His usually — from what I've gathered — boisterous tone comes to an inquisitive timbre. Before I can open my mouth to speak, he shakes his head and gives another wave of his hand, brushing the situation off. "Bah, nevermind. I'm sure there're one or two Receptionists on board without a Hunter."

I have no idea what he's going on about at this point and I'm sure I don't want to know. Besides, didn't I already say I don't plan on sticking around? "What're you prattling on about? A Receptionist; a Handler? I don't exactly understand this Guild lingo, friend." He doesn't have time to answer those rhetorical inquiries as I raise a hand to stop him. I don't really care for those at the moment, I have one more _important_ question left. "Okay, skipping all of this Guild nonsense, how long is this trip to the New World?"

"Did you finish that drink of yours yet?"

"No... _why?"_

"You should, especially for this." I blink and gulp silently to myself. Taking his proposal seriously, I bring the rim of the mug and swill the rest of the liquid. The taste is cheap, probably meant for a lengthy trip, and I give a silent whine in thought.

"Well, may as well get introductions out of the way before this, yeah? I'm Hunter; you likely think I'm joking, after all of this Hunter's Guild talk, but I'm not. Hunter Dolby, it looks like we're bunkmates for the next two months!"

Well, the good news is my hangover's lessened by now. The bad news is I'm gonna be dealing with another one tomorrow.

I raise a hand to signal one of the many Felynes to refill my empty tankard. The now monikered Hunter looks at me expectantly and I feel the want to faceplant into the boards of the table. _"Sonovabitch,"_ I whisper to myself before nodding. "Well, Hunter. Looks like it." I stand up from the chair and outstretch my arm in greeting. He takes it in kind. "Name's Weyland, Weyland Lemming; let's drink 'till we're dead, how about it?" He laughs out at my attempt at a courteous introduction, I only smile sardonically in return.

I didn't ask for this shit.

* * *

 **While Monster Hunter: World certainly isn't the best of the series, it really is fun. I have a blast just dicking around with friends in this entry! Anyway, I wanted to try something with the game: this fanfic, as you can see. I've never read anything about a non-willing Hunter so far! So, the idea came to me: _why not make an alcoholic with no memories of last night board one of the ships of the Fifth Fleet?_ And voila, this was born.**

 **Obviously, not much is going to happen for a while, this is one of three prologue chapters. I want to introduce some of the characters, make them acquainted and whatnot. Figured I'd start the journey the day _directly_ after they set off. Kinda/sorta spoilers for the game, it'll drift off on its own path as with most of my shit. Nothing too heavy lmao, so I don't expect you need to play the game beforehand.**

 **Unless you want to, but eh.**

 **Anyway, that's that for, er... _that?_ As usual, you're all the best and I hope you continue to enjoy!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A Drunkard's Ballad**

 **Prologue (2/3): Last Night Bites**

* * *

 _"I've got a tankard or four, filled with ale once more and I'm happy as can be~!"_

 _"A drink for my friends, a drink on me; I'm so happy, a grin, you see~!"_

 _"Shut up, already! Sapphire, people are trying to sleep!"_

 **. . . . .**

If there's one thing you can find out about yourself rather quickly on a two-month voyage, it's whether or not you can get seasick. It's actually _really_ easy to figure out. At first, you don't realize it but then you slowly begin to notice the signs. Your feet can't still themselves on deck, your head spins looking out at sea. You fail to hold back whatever you've eaten or drank the night before. I've only been traveling abroad for a week now and I know my answer. As of currently, I very much am.

It's like a hangover, but I'd say it's considerably worse.

I groan as yet another spew of vomit throws itself from my mouth, overboard. _And I very much fucking hate it._ I stare with half-lidded eyes downward at the crashing waves against the barge. I murmur under my breath as I can only blame myself for this situation. Bringing up the sleeve of my shirt, I wipe my mouth dry of whatever bile remained. "Fuckin' C-Lister... I didn't even sign up for this gig!" I groan, my throat itching from the constant abuse it was receiving. Before I'd gone outside to do, well, _this,_ I'd received word via homing drake a day ago — turns out this Hunter's Guild likes to use tiny dragons to scare the living daylights out of people — that I was designated as a C-List hunter. I need specialized training from a B-Lister, blah blah blah, and the best B-Listers become A-Listers. Originally, I thought it was in a manner of _'who signed up first',_ but obviously, I was wrong.

Thanks for that, Dolby.

I was supposed to meet with my designated partner, but I can't even find the guy. A fellow named Astrid or something like that. He's to be my B-List Handler, my teacher or whatever. I don't even know why the flagship's, _"The Fate's Wings",_ chain of command figured I'm to be a hunter regardless of my accidental being here. I hope they know that as soon as I can, I'm getting my ass off this ship and back home. Maybe I can convince this Astrid, when I see him that is, to just _say_ he trained me, speed up the whole _'getting out of here'_ process. Here's to hoping at least.

I rest my forearms against the railing, mumbling to myself continuously as I try and fight back various levels of discomfort. I wouldn't say I was doing a good job at it if I'm particularly honest. _And if there's anything I can be, right now, it's definitely that._ I clench my eyes shut and let out a wavering breath. "Oh, fuck me sideways-" I start to groan out as a hand slaps itself on my back. Well, I know what I'm doing in a couple of secon-

I hurl over the side of the boat once again, the acidic taste causes me to glare daggers at the grand ocean. I turn around and stare at, of course, Dolby, standing there with that cheeky grin on his face. "Woah! Sorry, Weyland. Didn't know you came out here for that! Haha." He laughs out, resting his arms on the railing aside me. "Came out here to check how you were doing; must be pretty bummed you lost last night, huh?" If I'm anything, I'm angry that I'm stuck out here, puking right now. I couldn't give a hare's ass about losing.

But, again, if I'm honest, yes. It does bug me a little. Not going to let him know, of course, but still. "I only lost because I _let_ you win." I return fire with a light-hearted growl. Of course, to the game he was referring to, he meant our little match of _'Power Hour'._ A deceivingly simple game of who can drink the most. The goal of which is to take a shot once per minute for an hour. Of ale, obviously; anything stronger would have likely killed one of us. It seems easy at first, especially since the alcohol on this ship is cheaper than dirt, but it quickly became a struggle at the forty-minute mark. Which, coincidentally, is when I had to bow out. Belly-up, as it were.

It's also the reason why I'm out here, right now. So, maybe I'm not seasick, maybe both my liver and stomach is just a little upset with me is all. Maybe-

Hurling over the edge again, I can say that's not the case. "Sure thing, man. Sure thing." He gently pats my shoulder before looking off into the sunrise, the orange-hued sky glistens calmly over the seemingly endless waters. "So, find your B-Lister yet?" He asks without turning to me. He was the only person I told since I received word of it and I was kinda hoping it would only be him and Astrid; don't want people actually thinking I want to stay here or anything. Which I definitely fucking don't, if the puking is anything to go by. I shake my head slowly at him.

"No, haven't seen hide nor hair of this Astrid guy. Didn't bother to go asking about him, either. What about you? Your A-List buddy say anything about me, last night?" I'm not going to lie, she was a looker. Long, deep brown hair pulled back by a band; even browner eyes that just screamed natural beauty. Sapphire, if only I could remember her name. Too bad we'd met _after_ I was stumbling around the ship at two in the morning.

Next to me, Dolby laughs hysterically for a moment. Taking a second to catch his breath, he wipes an invisible tear from his eye as he turns to me, using his hip to support him against the railing. He crosses his arms and smiles broadly, "Katerine? Kat? Oh, she said _something_ alright!" He chuckles and my brow raises at his hysteria. Was it something good? "She woke me up saying there was a drunk moron shantying at the top of his lungs! You kept most of the ship alert last night. Hahaha!" He laughs out, clutching his stomach and I roll my eyes before facing the horizon again.

So, the green-clad woman at least knew who I was. That's a positive start, I suppose. Could have done without the apparent shantying to besmirch my good name, but regardless. She knew me and that alone makes me feel a little better. "Good to know, good to know." I lower my head down for a moment and take a deep breath, inhaling through the nose, before shaking my head. I push myself away from the railing. "And speaking of good, I am. It's morning and I wasn't able to keep breakfast down; maybe I'll be able to manage this time around." I take a shaky step but manage to continue, and Dolby follows behind.

"Oh Sapphire, I wish you could have seen yourself, last night, Weyland."

"Shut up, Dolby."

He laughs as I push open the door to the canteen.

 **. . . . .**

Taking a seat, I intertwine my hands and rest them on the wooden surface as I wait for Dolby, or maybe this fabled Astrid. The former is currently chatting up a storm with his partner, the beaut from last night. I can't hear what they're saying over the chatter surrounding me. A soft purr and mew, however, sounds to my left and I glance down; a black and white-haired Felyne—one I'm becoming all too familiar with—stares drunkenly at me. In both of its paws is a tankard too big for it to carry around naturally, the creature brings it to its lips and I hear an audible gulp. It nods at me as the tankard lowers back down and walks off. My brows furrow and I look after the retreating being. I blink and notice Dolby returning to the table with Katerine.

I also notice that she glares at me as she takes a seat alongside him. Well, at least I know where I stand with her. She sighs, shaking her head before reluctantly opening her mouth. "Your partner, Astrid, isn't on this ship, not yet anyway. A day out from Astera, the fleet is supposed to convene with our galleon and the flagship herself, swapping out various items and personnel. You'll meet her then." She said, strictly as she looked at me, arms crossed over her chest. I could-

"Hold up, did you say _her?"_ The entire time I was thinking Astrid was another man and — _oh, I feel rather ridiculous now._ The more I say that name, the more I realize it's a female's. Katerine looks at me incredulously after I asked the question and I figure I could have worded that better. I inhale through my teeth and opt to ask a different question. "Nevermind that; a day out? That's seven weeks from now, what'll we do if we run out of alcohol-" her eyes go half-lid as I continue to dig a hole for myself. "Er, I mean rations and meals."

She sighs again, wringing her hands together as she looks away from me. "Then we'll call for an early convention; fire off a flare and one of the supply ships will deliver. It's simple, really. _Just not for you, apparently."_ I don't hear the last bit of what she'd said, but I don't feel as if it were anything important. She continues speaking, "however, you'll still be unable to see Astrid until the months are out. She may be a B-Lister, but she's a good Handler. She'll-" she sighs again, looking me in the eye this time, "I'm sure she'll train you well. Amongst other things."

What does that mean, _'amongst other things'._ It doesn't sound too helpful, especially considering I want to opt out of this shit-show as soon as I can.

I don't like the sound of that if I say so myself. I go to open my mouth, the but grey Felyne from before approaches our table once again; this time, two tankards, despite being too big for the fellow, are in its paws. He props himself a seat next to mine and places the second ale mug in front of me. Hiccupping once, he raises his tankard. I know the sign of a toast all too well. I raise the one he'd given me, despite not even knowing who I am, and clank it against his, "cheers, eh?" I promote, bringing the drink to my dried lips. The strange Felyne does the same with a wide, wavering grin; both Dolby and Katerine glance at each other. One with the look of confusion and the other as if he was aware of something we weren't. Either or, I don't bother asking both partners ahead of me what they were thinking.

With a mug to my lips, I birth tomorrow's hangover with another drink and another fellow alcoholic at my side.

My life, am I right?

* * *

 **So far so good! It took me a bit, obviously, to come up with a second chapter. I had to think of characters, names, the plot for the story itself; stuff like that. It shouldn't take me too long to keep the ball rolling now that I've got the prologue out of the way, so I'd say expect the next chapter within a week or so. Can't make any promises, but that's the best I can give you all.**

 **Anyway, that's that for... er... _that?_ As usual, you're all the best and I hope you continue to enjoy!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Updated: 12/10/2019**

 **A Drunkard's Ballad**

 **Prologue (3/3): Squad Up, Drink Up**

* * *

 _"Whadya mean you're Astrid? I thought Astrid was a guy!"_

 _"Yes, I'm quite aware of your previous assumptions, but-"_

 _"Hush little boy, I'm talkin' to a grown-up right now."_

 _"That's, erm... that is a pole, Mister Lemming."_

 **. . . . .**

She continues to stare at me with an unimpressed glare, her frown pursing to the side of her face as she looks at me. I continue to remain silent, afraid of her reaction in general. It's for nought, however as her head turns back down to the book before her. I let out a breath I wasn't even aware I was holding, the wooden tankard raising to my lips as I sip almost noiselessly. This is Astrid Pentacost; a woman of letters, shrewd, strict abstinent—my Handler or... _teacher,_ rather. A day ago, the ships congregated and people started moving in and out of the grouped vessels. _She_ was one of the few who stayed when the ships disbanded.

Of course, she'd met me at one of my less _refined_ moments. I don't recall any of it, but still, I know I did something likely embarrassing. Demeaning my own being in front of her. Sapphire... If only she'd boarded the day prior, I was less shitfaced then than I was when we'd encountered each other. Her eyes scroll over the years-old texts, glancing up at me every odd moment before she closes the book with a sigh. Raising her hand, she pushes the black locks of hair gathered at the side of her head, behind her ear. "If you are wondering what had happened the last ni-"

"I'm not." I interrupt her, which I soon discern is a bad idea to do.

Her previous glare returns, hardened, before she shakes her head. "Yes, well. Good. I would hate to remind you of your rather... _heinous_ proclamations." She coughs politely behind a hand, looking away from me and instead opts to stare at the cover of one of her books. I clench my teeth behind closed lips and take another sip of my drink. "So," she starts again, clasping her hands together over her book. "Your Palico, does she has a nam-"

"He," I interrupt again and I go to bite my tongue, but I feel more words making their way from my mouth. "And he's not _my_ Palico, he just decided we're buddies, so." She's looking at me again, her eyelids drooping and brows furrowing in that familiar manner I'm growing used to. "Oh, and his name's Boozer," I scream internally. I _need_ to learn to stop when I'm ahead. I digress—speaking of the Felyne, I notice Boozer making his way towards our table with a drink in paw. I almost manage to signal a _'no'_ for the damn cat, but Astrid catches my gaze and turns towards him.

As expected, a sigh escapes her throat. "Oh, but of course he drinks too," she pinches the bridge of her nose as she turns to face me once more. She mutters sarcastically under her breath: _"Fantastic, I'm partnered with a couple of alcoholics."_ Shaking her head, she places her hands over back over her book, rolling her eyes as they land on me. "Just as well. It explains the name, I suppose." Her tone shifts slightly as Boozer takes the seat beside me to my right.

His slurred purrs making its way into our ears, Astrid extends a gloved hand across the table towards the black and white Felyne. I decide right then, fingerless gloves are kind of cool. "Well, regardless of both of your tendencies, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Boozer. I'm Astrid Pentacost. I do hope we will make a fine team." _Even if the chances of that are little to none,_ I half expected her to say.

Boozer places his drink next to mine, spilling the liquid over the sides, and extends his little paw out to her. Their limbs meet and a strong shake finishes the encounter. "(That's a purrty strong grip, meowch!)" As he brings his paw back to his side, he gives a playful shake, making me wonder what he'd said. Yeah, some people take time out of their lives to speak or understand Felyne, but I never took the opportunity. Kinda regretting that. I'm about to open my mouth, but a soft chuckle from Astrid prompts me to keep it closed.

 _So she_ can _laugh,_ I think—albeit a tad sardonically—before my eyes drift away from her. Another person just so happened to be approaching the table, one I've never seen on this ship until now. Another one of these Hunters by the looks of it; similarly clad in metallic armour, like Dolby, and a frown that meant business. She doesn't look the type to carry a book or a monster dossier on her person. Definitely a Hunter. I wonder who she is though? Astrid taps the table and my attention draws back to her. "Yeah?"

"I was asking when you decided to ship off with us?" Why am I always asked this question? Is a drunk stowaway not a common occurrence or something? I shake my head without a response besides taking a drink from my cup. The warming sensation easing its way down my throat causes me to exhale with a content sigh.

I'm just about to answer, but the girl from before takes the stool to my left, seating herself just next to me. As she sits, ignoring the looks the three of us give her, she raises her hands—in one, a small, thin rope. Going through practiced motions, she ties up her beige hair, putting it into a ponytail, her bangs falling along the sides of her face. Despite her young visage, I can't help but question the colour... _and the fact she sat here._ "Hey, miss. Why'd you-" a side glance as cold as ice lands on me and my voice catches itself immediately.

She stares downward at the table with an empty look, lowering her hands back to the table. "I wanted to," she says as if it were the most obvious answer. Her voice is as rough as rocks and as serious as a Rathian's first heat. I can't stave a shiver that forces itself up my spine. This action rewards her gaze upon me once again. "Weyland." She adds, knowingly. I mentally shrink in my seat, questioning how in the Hell she knew my name. I don't _believe_ I'd ever met her. I'd remember meeting a possibly sociopathic blonde, right? Either way, I return my own set of eyes to the mug before me without so much a second glance.

Astrid casts contemplative looks at the three of us; Boozer casually ignoring the world around him as he continues to sip from his tankard with slurs and purrs and whatever Palicos do in their free time. Me, trying to keep as invisible as I can be to whoever this cold stranger is beside me. And the stranger, remaining just as silent as she looks at the face of the table. I cast a worried glance at my newest partner, Astrid, and mouth to her to help me out. She averts her eyes from mine.

Luckily enough, Dolby's here to the rescue. My eyes meet up along with his and he smiles widely, glancing at everyone else at the table before making his way over. In his hands, yet another drink, and it makes my mouth water. Raising my own to my lips, I—as casually as possible—try and take a sip without drawing whats-her-name's attention. "Yo! Weyland, didja hear?" Oh Sapphire, Dolby, not now, don't talk to me _now._ I know he's excitable, and it's great to keep morale high, but now is _not_ the time to be talking to _me_ specifically! As he reaches the table, he slams his hand down onto the face, pushing away Astrid's books with a smile.

He is unaware of the death he may have sealed for himself, but I try and grin back, still—for some reason—afraid of the girl to my left. I'm really unconcerned for Astrid at the moment. "We're almost there, buddy! Aha, I can't _wait_ to grab this world by the horns!" Inwardly, I'm screaming at him, for him to shut up, but physically, I nod without a word. I cast a sidelong glance and notice the stranger at my side look up at Dolby. A curious glint in her eyes. Dolby was, surprisingly, unaware of her presence at the moment. Surprisingly, as in it's hard not to feel the cold look she seems to give everyone. "Ah, man, even if you being here was an accident, it still felt like _ages_ since we first met. It's only been, what," he counts his fingers before looking back to me, "almost two months? It feels like it's been forever now!"

"Yeah, well... sailing can do that to you," I mumble, still wary of my ability to get unnaturally seasick. My eyes glance at my side and I luckily don't meet the girl's pair.

Dolby opens his mouth again with a nod, "darn straight! You must be nervous, right? Finally facing your destiny, what you were always meant to be! A Hunter! Hahaha!" He laughs out at his own damnable joke and I sigh with a slow, cautious nod. I look at Astrid as she finishes analyzing the orange-haired nuisance.

Her eyes meet mine and she raises a brow. "Accident? Destiny? What does he mean by that?" Even though she could have asked the source, her attention—and ultimately the resident outsider's—was drawn on me.

Biting my lower lip, I raise the last of my drink and quaff the rest of it down. Putting it down with a low belch, I shake my head and grin at her somewhat cheekily, kind of like Dolby would do. "You know that one possibly regrettable decision you make while blackout drunk?" I ask. Astrid squints her eyes suspiciously whereas the girl next to me scoffs... an almost familiar sound, which is odd enough to me. "You see, there's a recurring problem here; my being on this little voyage, that was the accident." I turn my eyes to Dolby and he laughs despite the weighted aura surrounding us. "As for destiny..." I trail off with a shrug. I knew the answer already, I just didn't care to say it.

Apparently, I don't have to be the one to.

"There isn't a ship in this fleet that'll take you back, Weyland. Nor is there one in Astera." A new voice enters the fold. Katerine's. The green outfitted woman appears before the table, taking a standing position beside her constantly jubilant partner. Her sudden appearance startles Dolby and he knocks over his tankard, spilling its contents over the table and... _onto Astrid's books._ Katerine ignores this little exchange and turns her head to the stranger next to me.

 **. . . . .**

I scoff at Weyland's friend, this Dolby character, as he doesn't even acknowledge the fact he could have ruined these almost priceless lexicons. I smack him on the shoulder, making him aware of me. " _Gr..._ gah! Do you have any idea how expensive these were? How much zenny I'd spent to research these?!" I whisper harshly, wiping my alcohol dampened hand over my tanned vest. His brown eyes gather a hint of remorse in them and his smile shrinks down to an apologetic one.

"Hey-hey, sorry miss! My partner, Kat, just scared me is all. Honest mistake, I swear. I didn't mean to." His somewhat pathetic look caused me to sigh and I pull the books further over to my side, away from the rest of his spilled drink. "Hell, I could-I could even repay you for them if anything serious happened!" His voice, his tone shows just how serious he is and I almost feel sorry that I'd snapped at him.

Pursing my lips, I give a single, curt nod. "I... yes, that would be great." I'm not really mad that he'd spilled anything on them, nor the fact he may not even be able to afford what I'd paid for these books. I'm just livid that he'd almost blew off the entire situation as if I weren't even here. However, I will not let him off that easy. "I'll be sure to inform you later of any damages following... well, this."

His smile widens again and he pats me on the shoulder. "Honestly, I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"See to it that it won't, please." His attention turns back to the other three and I sigh out, bringing a handkerchief from one of my pockets to begin the long process of drying wet pages.

 **. . . . .**

Katerine studies the young woman to my left in an almost scrutinizing manner before she smiles. "Wait a second, aren't you one of the A-List Hunters as well?" This question piques my interest and my eyes turn to take in the stranger once more. Another A-Lister? On this ship? Those are far and few in between; the fact both Dolby and Katerine are—sorry, _were_ —the only two A-Listers I knew, proved that. It's not really in a manner of me caring, but it's still thought-provoking. Just because I'm here against my will, doesn't mean I can't gain an interest in whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing.

Oh Sapphire, am I developing Stockholm Syndrome?

Thought aside, I wave over one of the steward Felynes for another drink. The girl beside me raises her head and matches Katerine's gaze with her own. "Yes," she states simply. I almost deflate at the indifferent tone in her voice; the girl was as cold as ever and we'd only met moments ago. Katerine nods as if expecting this from the woman but continues to leave her lips upturned.

"What? No way! Kat and I are, too!" Dolby's sudden inclusion in the conversation rips my eyes away from the familiar-yet-not woman. I—having already been aware of their ranking on this excursion—feign interest. Astrid and Boozer, however, are hearing this for the first time. The former gawks at the ginger and black-haired duo whereas the latter spits his drink underneath the table.

An incredulous look flashes in Boozer's eyes, "(Purrdon me?!)" I still wish I knew what he was saying.

Dolby looks away from the Felyne, his eyes wide and filled with astonishment. "Hey! You _have_ to tell us your name, stranger!" He reaches his hand across the table, placing it on one of the woman's own.

Her hand flinches under the sudden touch, forming a small fist, but fails to do anything else. She seems to have resigned herself to accepting what's going on around her as fact. She sighs, the scar over her left eyebrow raises along with it as she takes in the entire group. Her mouth opens, pulling her hand away from under Dolby's and retracting it to her side. "Samus. Your turn." It comes out like venom: quick, without feelings, but apparently everyone in this group had accepted this already. I'm not quite there at this point.

Obviously, it would be Dolby who decides to go first. "Hunter Dolby, former Ace Cadet and current A-List Hunter, at your service!" His loud voice draws several pairs of eyes on him, but none tell him to bugger off or anything else of the sort. He simply continues to smile at the girl across from him and he turns his head, patting Katerine on the back.

She rolls her eyes at this energetic front he'd become known for but nods, extending her hand out to the girl. As Samus takes it with her own, Katerine gives a single good shake and nods. "Katerine West, A-List Handler to this buffoon," placing her free hand on Dolby's shoulder, she continues. _"Also,_ at your service." Katerine, pulling her hand away, turns to look at Astrid, casting a somber grin.

The bibliophile, looking up from her books—probably feeling everyone's eyes on her—smiles only slightly. "Ah, yes, of course, greetings are in order. I am Astrid Pentacost, B-List Handler to the alcoholic just next to you. A pleasure to make your acquaintance." She states oh-so-eloquently and part of me seems to gather more of a distaste for her. Seriously, yes. I drink, but what did I do that made her detest me so much? Yeah, I was out of it when we'd first met and maybe I'd said some things I probably, definitely shouldn't have, but that's not me! When I'm sober, I'm nothing like whatever I become.

At least, I think I'm not.

Anyway, the point is, I didn't do anything _sober_ to deserve this kind of treatment. With a shake of her head, Astrid glances at me, signaling it was my turn for an introduction, before going back to cleaning her whatever. Even though I've been through many of them by now. I carefully turn my head to see Samus was already staring back at me. A little unnerving, if I'm honest, but still. I'd rather do this than have everyone give me the cold shoulder for being the odd one out. I open my mouth, but a raise of her hand stops any noise from escaping.

"Weyland Lemming. Tanzia's forgetful inebriate," she starts, her voice low with a hint of distaste. She turns back to Katerine with lowered brows, "I am well aware of who he is."

 _What._

A look of concern crosses over my face—at least, it definitely feels like one does. How does this woman know who I am? Have we- _have we_ met _before this?_ Shit, I honestly can't remember her face or her name or-or _anything_ about her! Through the corner of my eyes, Astrid glances up from her handiwork for all of a second; letting out a snort, she goes back to doing whatever she was doing. A simple "a-ah, right" leaves my throat involuntarily and I grab for Boozer's drink.

He meows some gibberish at me, a hiss following suit, "(Give that back right meow!)", if only I understood him. I bring the beverage to my lips and down as much as I can. It's a nervous habit; when there's alcohol around and things feel tense, it's best to just let it happen. I'd rather not be a trembling mess, you know? Not like it matters now, I guess. We're all acquainted and I'm being made to look out _more_ like an alcoholic as it is. Especially since I just stole this Felyne's fucking drink.

Sapphire dammit... just one isn't going to be enough. I need to forget that this lady knows me from somewhere, stat. Get rid of that _'she wants to kill me'_ feeling...

Oh, who am I kidding? I'm going to be stuck with these guys for the rest of my life, ain't I?

Fuck me running.

* * *

 **Updated 12/10/2019 to prove I didn't abandon this! Updates coming soon, folks, I promise you that!**

 **Anyway, that's that for, er... _that?_ As usual, you're all the best and I hope you continue to enjoy!**


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